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and rest it was… Tomorrow will be a whole new day… It will be a whole new me…

I was wondering why people normally take advantage of that built-in feelings an ex flame has imprinted on them instead of just admitting that both of you still secretly want to be with each other again, because as for me it’s more of me losing that ability to believe that things will work out the second time, or the nth time. Someone robbed me that ability to tolerate second-nth chances so there I became an uncaring-but-still-romance-stricken-woman.

I’m always having a hard time understanding why people would do anything stupid for love, until it happened to me. I normally say to my girlfriends “So, he saw all of you, you saw him too, move on…” I thought that intimacy as a basis on why you can’t move on with someone was not enough to suffice your reaction when a relationship ends. That’s how shallow I thought complications were when you are in a relationship, until again it happened to me.

So healing myself literally in the past few days, also cured whatever that hollow feeling kicking in my heart everyday…

Nothing in this world is more difficult than love, except for Math I guess… There’s no easy way, short-cut or long way. It can’t be half-hearted, unwilling and unreciprocated. Too bad that it can happen to anyone of us. Too bad it happens when you are not ready or when you think it won’t sting you, but then eventually it will.

The thing is when I was lost in solitude, I lose control in my direction. I dug so deeply in my emotions that I ended up being a villain of my ever-after world.

I would wake up for no reason in the middle of the night, and the memory of that sweet-misplaced love will be revealed to me… a pitfall of happiness that I despised and desired at the same time, but from which it was impossible to escape.

I might be still young to eliminate the worries of loving, but it’s something that can’t reduce me, instead it should make me a better woman – a woman that will never be scared to love.

Until I’m ready again, I won’t give up on my unrequited love…


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